Rock & Roll: Saw on the news that California had a 5.3 today, third quake this week. I would be packing the car tonight if I lived there, just in case. But hurricane season is approaching for the folks in the southeast. I guess every place has its concerns. We don't really have any of that here at the Digital Ranch, just the occasional tornado threat. All in all I would rather live in Kentucky!

Polyphonic Resuscitation: Just a thought for anyone who is a friend and may someday find the need to save my life. If I am ever on the verge of losing my life and the doctors cannot find out how to bring me out of a coma, here is the trick. Get a really great pair of headphones and play Heart's "Barracuda" or "Magic Man" full blast. With Magic Man I will probably jump off the table with my air guitar at the 4 minute mark - it always happens. If you can't find those songs just put a lighter in my hand and whisper "Freebird", that usually provokes a spark.

Note to Mr. Michael Jackson:

Mike,

Noticed that the jury is about to come in on the 11 counts stemming from your most recent legal problems. I know that it is a little late in the game to give advice to you on this case, but you and I both know that there will likely be more. So let me help you out with a few things.

1. Show up dressed like a man. I know that you are a famous celebrity, but the vest thing has not been in vogue for a long time. The arm band? It just isn't working. And, we all know that there are times when we feel a little under the weather and need to be rushed to the hospital the morning of a major court case. So, prepare for those moments by having your valet or butler lay out the appropriate clothes the night before so that when you are rushing to the court house you can be changing in the back seat instead of showing up in your PJs. Since part of the case revolved around your behavior wearing those PJs it might have given the jury something to think about by actually seeing you in them.

2. Get a hair cut. Since part of this case revolves around your strange behavior it might be a good idea to thrown everyone off by actually getting a hair cut like a real man. Take the lead from other leading black celebrities like Wesley Snipes, Michael Jordan, Eminem - shave your head. The Liz Taylor look was funny when you first did it, but it is getting old.

3. Look like a man. That picture on CNN, the very hour that you are going to receive your verdict on this trial has you with lipstick on. The only time that a man should have lipstick on is when you have been making out with a great looking babe. (By the way, what were you thinking with Debbie Rowe, you could have done better). Since you battle stereotypes based on your masculinity (or lack thereof) you could benefit greatly from ditching the makeup. Hey, let your beard grow for a day or two as well, prove to the world the rumors of your getting your beard lasered off were just false. You could use a little help in the manhood department.

4. Talk like a man. My 9 year old son has a deeper voice than yours. Go smoke a pack of Camels (filterless) and then do your press conference.

5. Finally, Never, ever, ever, say the following in an interview with a camera running "Sure I sleep with boys, I don't see anything wrong with that." Dude, that one is always going to bite you.

Good luck on the next time around. By the way, I think that the orange jump suit looks great on you.

What a week: Well, most of you know that I am in the middle of a 17 day road trip. By far the longest that I have been away from home since I have been married (over 20 years). Thought that I would have lots of free time for photos, that just hasn't happened.

I am so tired.